Some people pay good money to feel like they’re being fired out of a cannon into a pool. Other people prefer not to sign a waiver before getting wet. Brazil has built water slides that could double as skydiving practice, while Disney turned a ski jump into a liquid nightmare. Then there’s Splash Island in plainfield indiana, where the tallest slide is about 2.5 stories and nobody’s checking your life insurance policy at the gate.
- Brazil’s Kilimanjaro slide drops you 164 feet at 60 mph, which is basically a controlled fall with extra steps and water.
- Disney’s Summit Plummet lets you plunge 120 feet down what looks like a ski jump, proving that the happiest place on earth has a dark side.
- Meanwhile, Splash Island offers three body slides, a 900-foot lazy river, and the kind of chill afternoon where your biggest decision is whether to float or walk to the snack bar.
The Brazilian Philosophy of Terror
Brazil took one look at normal water slides and said “what if we made them terrifying?” Kilimanjaro at Aldeia das Águas Park Resort sits 164 feet tall. For reference, that’s taller than a 14-story building. The slide drops riders at roughly 60 mph down a 60-degree incline built into the side of a hill. About a third of people who climb all the way to the top take one look down and nope right back to the stairs.
The best part? You’re going so fast that the whole experience is over before your brain fully processes what’s happening. By the time you think “this was a bad idea,” you’re already at the bottom with a wedgie and a story to tell.
Then there’s Insano at Beach Park. This 135-foot freestanding tower sends riders screaming to the bottom in 4 to 5 seconds flat. You hit speeds up to 65 mph, which means you’re traveling faster than the speed limit on most highways. The entire ride lasts less time than it takes to read this sentence.
Disney’s Version of Family Fun
Summit Plummet at Blizzard Beach proves that Disney can do wholesome family terror just as well as anyone. This 120-foot slide is designed to look like a ski jump. You can’t actually see where you’re going until you’re already halfway there, which is either brilliantly thrilling or a questionable design choice.
Riders hit 55 to 60 mph on the way down. Disney thoughtfully provides a digital speed display at the bottom so you can confirm that yes, you really did just travel at highway speeds while wearing nothing but a bathing suit and regret. The park requires riders to be at least 48 inches tall, which seems generous considering plenty of grown adults take one look and decide the lazy river sounds nice.
What makes it extra fun is that you’re at Disney World. You came here for Mickey Mouse and churros, and somehow you ended up agreeing to freefall down what amounts to a 12-story building. Parents stand at the bottom taking videos while their teenagers question every life choice that led to this moment.
Adding Sharks to the Mix
Someone at Atlantis resorts looked at water slides and thought “you know what this needs? Sharks.” The Leap of Faith in both the Bahamas and Dubai sends you down a near-vertical drop through a clear tunnel running straight through a shark lagoon. The Dubai version stands 98 feet tall, the Bahamas version hits 60 feet, and both versions share the same “what could possibly go wrong” energy.
You zip past sharks and rays at 40 mph. The whole thing takes 5 to 6 seconds. Here’s a fun fact: a shark at the Bahamas location actually jumped OUT of the tank and INTO the slide once. The shark died, which is sad, but also raises some questions about the whole setup. They’ve since added netting, which is either reassuring or a reminder that this was an actual problem they had to solve.
Over in Tenerife, Siam Park built the Tower of Power with the same basic concept. This 91-foot slide drops you at 50 mph through an aquarium full of sharks that visitors describe as looking “horrific” and “vile.” The good news is you’re moving way too fast to get a good look at them. The bad news is you know they’re there.
The Midwestern Approach
Meanwhile, Splash Island in Plainfield, Indiana, takes a wildly different approach to summer fun. The park’s three body slides top out at about 2.5 stories. There’s a yellow slide that’s the longest, a green slide that’s the fastest, and a blue slide that’s fast AND long. Nobody’s making you sign anything. Nobody’s checking if you have a heart condition.
The 900-foot lazy river is legitimately relaxing. It’s one and a half times longer than the lazy river at nearby Carmel’s water park, which means you get more time to float around doing absolutely nothing. This is the correct use of a lazy river, by the way. You’re supposed to relax, not question your mortality.
The park has a zero-depth entry pool, lily pad crossing, and water basketball if you’re feeling ambitious. But here’s what really sets it apart: you can bring your own chairs, coolers, and food from home. Pack sandwiches. Bring juice boxes. Nobody’s going to charge you $8 for a hot dog. This is the kind of practical, Midwestern thinking that doesn’t show up at places where you’re paying to freefall into a shark tank.
Pick Your Level of Chaos
Water parks exist on a very wide spectrum. On one end, you have Kilimanjaro, where you achieve speeds that would get you pulled over by highway patrol. On the other end, you have Splash Island, where the most stressful decision is whether you want to float in the lazy river or sit in the grass and eat the snacks you brought.
Both options are totally valid. Some people want to go home and tell everyone they survived a 164-foot freefall at speeds approaching 70 mph. Other people want to go home and say they had a nice day at the water park without experiencing a near-death situation. The important thing is being honest with yourself about which person you are BEFORE you climb to the top of anything with “insane,” “death,” or “leap of faith” in the name.
Making the Call
If you’re someone who gets a genuine rush from plummeting at ridiculous speeds through a tube while sharks watch from uncomfortably close range, the world has built plenty of options specifically for you. Go forth. Test your limits. Get the photos.
If you’re someone who thinks 2.5 stories is plenty high and would rather spend the afternoon floating in a tube with a cooler full of snacks nearby, Splash Island is waiting. No judgment, no sharks, no waivers. Just water slides that won’t make you question your life choices halfway down.
Either way, you’re getting wet. The real question is whether you want to scream the entire time or just chill out with a juice box.
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